A common topic among many of my clients is decision making. For significant issues, decision making can be crippling. Many hold that if we don’t make the RIGHT decision we begin a domino effect of less than ideal circumstances and consequently live a failed life. With the stress of having to make right decisions we tend to immediately paint the “what if” picture in the worst way.
The reason we get so caught up in decision making is because we firmly believe that there is an absolute RIGHT decision and an absolute WRONG decision. We live as if there is an imaginary playbook out there that we’re supposed to line up with, and by doing so we’ll live the good life. But the fact is, there’s not an official playbook so we can ease up on trying to figure out what all those right decisions are.
In reality there is only A decision, A path, A way.
To rid yourself of the anxiety that accompanies decision making you must adopt the idea that there isn’t such a thing as a right decision. There is only A decision. So pick something, anything, and then live it the best you know how.
That’s the key. Set something in motion and put your energy into fulfilling it as you’d like to realize it rather than trying to determine which is best and then imagine horrible outcomes by not doing it right.
Here’s why this works.
The reason anything “fails” is not because of the decision you made, it’s the conflicted attention and energy you can give to it by doubting your choice, keeping you from full engagement. (This is how you ultimately realize that awful future you hoped wouldn’t happen).
Because it’s made up of a bunch of choices you’ve made (and are making) to the best of your ability with all you have available to you. There is no determined ideal to follow – it’s about fully aligning with the choices you make. And if you find you don’t like the decision you’ve made, change it and try again. Life is an experiment!
If this resonates with you try coming up with a statement to get out of the occasional stalled choice points that life inevitably presents. Mine is, “There is no right path, only A path.” It never fails to give me true relief and remind me that I’m always on purpose. I then save all that energy from deliberating, trust my instinct and act, and use the mental and emotional surplus to actualize a reality I WANT to see. To me, that’s the good life: living fully with no hesitation or regrets.
Now it’s your turn. What has decision making been like for you and could taking on this perspective help you be on purpose? What could be possible knowing that you’re always on the right path? Leave your comments, questions, and considerations below. And if you know someone struggling with a decision on their hands, send them this post. They’ll thank you for it!
Amy Eliza Wong is an executive coach, life coach, writer, and speaker in the Greater Bay Area and Sacramento, CA area committed to helping people figure out what makes them tick so they can finally live with joy and real purpose. Learn more about working with her.