Maybe the answer is not in “resolutions”

"Maybe it's not about resolutions" by Amy Eliza Wong, executive and life coach the greater Bay Area, CA

Happy New Year, friends!! It’s a week into this brilliant new year of 2019 and here’s what’s on my mind…

The optimism, hope, and excitement for personal change in 2019 are palpable.  I’m excited about the clean-slate feel and opportunity of this new year and certainty wants to convert the brewing potential energy into real change.

However, I’m pretty saturated with all the tips on wrestling new year resolutions into reality (my own reflections on the topic included). Maybe you are too.

I’ll admit, I don’t want to exhaust my willpower muscles trying to adopt new behaviors that will give me relief in certain areas of my life. I don’t want the added pressure of monitoring routines and habits in order to improve my daily routine. I don’t want my precious intellectual and emotional bandwidth channeled away from what’s truly important in my life: my incredible children and husband.

Now sure, I want to create all those big dreams and visions I’ve white-boarded out in my office. Of course, I want exceptional health and well-being. And no doubt, I seek harmonious and abundant relationships and experiences.

But, there’s more to it than all that.

A Resolution is an Intermediary

There’s a rich reality underneath every resolution, dream, desire, and goal we have.

Everything we want – either to gain, change, improve or remove something from our life – is not for the thing or change itself. It’s because we think it’s going to make us FEEL a different way.

What we really want is an improved feeling state.

Given this, I’m starting this year off simply and powerfully. I want an authentic change from an authentic internal shift. I’m not going to project manage change on an effectual level, I’m going to improve the quality of my life on a foundational level and embody the desired feeling state that we’re all reaching for.

Beyond “better” or “good” there is more to this universal desired feeling state we all innately crave.

Life is finite and precious.  There is a start and an end for each and every one of us. Yet, many of us live as if we’re never going to die.  Without sounding too morbid, the fact is we never know exactly when our end is. And so, each moment is to be truly savored.

The ultimate desired feeling state that each human is reaching for is the exquisite attention and appreciation that IS each moment. Each of us seeks the true freedom that is compassionate awareness without any mental or emotional drag whatsoever.


We Want To Really Live…

As I’ve witnessed my children play and as I’ve felt our family deepen our bond over the holiday, I’ve decided that I’m not letting one more moment pass without harnessing the preciousness of it. My one and only intention from here on out is to shift the quality of my attention so that when I can go to bed each and every night, I know I lived it in the most full, present, connected and authentic way possible. I will truly live every moment. Not resolve to make changes for an ideal future state.

Because… this moment right now as you read this was a vision for you 5 years ago. And this moment right now is the past you’ll ruminate on 5 years from today. So, this moment right now is absolutely everything you’ll ever experience. With true mindful attention, you’ll think, say, and do exactly what needs to be done in the most live-giving advantageous way. Therefore, with pristine attention and true mindful awareness in each of life’s moments, there can be no regrets and no anxiety.

It’s those two things right there – regrets and anxiety – that tarnish the quality of attention we share with ourselves, others, and the greater world around us. When we say we’ve wasted any part of our life, it’s largely due to these two emotional frequencies that steal from the total attentional bandwidth available to us. (How else do you think we make choices that don’t serve us??)

Savoring this precious life is not going to happen by working harder or restricting more. So, for 2019 and beyond I’m letting go of the need to project manage change. I’m letting go of checklists and tips to stay true to “resolutions.” Instead, I’m going right the heart of why we set resolutions in the first place: to achieve a profoundly better feeling state which is the profound freedom and exquisite awareness available in each moment. I’m elevating the quality of my attention in each of life’s moments so that all of me, shows up and meets all of what’s offered. Only then can it be true that every reflection of my past and all visions of my future embody exactly the reality I’d ever want them to be.

Does this make resolutions irrelevant? Maybe! I’ll let you know how it goes. 🙂

Now, how about you? I’d love to know what you think we’re really reaching for when we set resolutions for ourselves. Do you believe it’s the thing itself, or is it quality or feeling you’re after? What are you excited by and inspired to this year? Leave me a comment below! Nothing delights me more than sharing in this all together. 🙂

From my heart to yours – may 2019 be filled with exactly the love, joy and abundance you desire,

(PS – The royal road to harnessing your attention and practicing heightened attention to what-is is through meditation. Check out this article on meditation to learn more.)

Amy Eliza Wong is an executive and life coach, writer, and speaker in the California San Francisco Bay Area committed to helping people and organizations live and lead on purpose. Learn more about working with her.

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