Maybe the answer is not in “resolutions”

"Maybe it's not about resolutions" by Amy Eliza Wong, executive and life coach the greater Bay Area, CA

Resolutions provide hope for growth and change. Learn to bypass the intermediary called “resolutions” and get to heart of what you really want.

Happy New Year, friends!!  The optimism, hope, and excitement for personal change are palpable.  I’m excited about the clean-slate feel and opportunity of this new year. I’m certainly going to do my part to convert potential energy into real change. Often that involves coaching clients and being coached by my colleague coaches. And, it requires some reframing of what change is all about. Why? Because tips on tackling resolutions can be pretty overwhelming.

Wrestling New Year Resolutions Into Reality

I’ll admit, I don’t want to exhaust my willpower muscles trying to adopt new behaviors to provide relief in certain areas of my life. I don’t want to monitor routines and habits to improve my daily routine. I want to preserve my intellectual and emotional bandwidth for what’s truly important in my life – my family.

Now sure, I want all those big dreams and visions I’ve white-boarded out in my office. Of course, I want exceptional health and well-being. And yes, I seek harmonious and abundant relationships and experiences.

But, there’s more to it than all that.

A Resolution is an Intermediary

There’s a rich reality underneath every resolution, dream, desire, and goal we have.

Everything we want – either to gain, change, improve or remove something from our life – is not for the thing or change itself. We want it because we think it’s going to make us FEEL a different way.

What we really want is an improved feeling state

Considering this, I’m not going to project manage change on an effectual level. I’m going to recommend that you don’t either. We can catalyze authentic change from an authentic internal shift. Simply embody the desired feeling state you are ultimately after – right here, right now.

The ultimate desired feeling state that each human is reaching for is the exquisite attention and appreciation that is the now moment. Each of us seeks the true freedom of present compassionate awareness.

We Want To Really Live

I’m not letting one more moment of my life pass without harnessing the preciousness of it. My intention is to shift the quality of my attention so that when I can go to bed each night, I know I lived it in the most full, present, connected and authentic way possible. I will truly live every moment. Not resolve to make changes for an ideal future state.

Why? Right now is a vision of yourself 5 years ago. And this moment right now is the past you’ll ruminate on 5 years from today. So, this moment right now is absolutely everything you’ll ever experience. With true mindful attention, you’ll think, say, and do exactly what needs to be done in the most live-giving advantageous way. Therefore, with pristine attention and true mindful awareness in each of life’s moments, there can be no regrets and no anxiety.

It’s those two things – regrets and anxiety – that tarnish the quality of attention we share with ourselves, others, and the greater world around us. When we say we’ve wasted any part of our life, it’s largely due to these two emotional frequencies that steal from the total attentional bandwidth available to us. (How else do you think we make choices that don’t serve us??)

Are resolutions irrelevant?

Savoring this precious life is not going to happen by working harder or restricting more. So, starting now I’m letting go of the need to project manage change. Join me and let go of checklists and tips to stay true to “resolutions.” Instead, go right to the heart of why we set resolutions in the first place: to achieve a profoundly better feeling state which is the profound freedom and exquisite awareness available in each moment. The only thing that’s real is right now. When you get the truth in this, every reflection of your past and all visions of your future embody exactly the reality you’d ever want them to be.

Try it out and see how it goes.

Take it deeper?

I’d love to know what you think resolutions. Do you believe it’s the thing itself, or is it quality or feeling you’re after? What are you excited by and inspired to this year? Reach out and see if coaching together could help you achieve your biggest goals for next year!

From my heart to yours – may this new year be filled with exactly the love, joy and abundance you desire,

(PS – The royal road to harnessing your attention and practicing heightened attention to what-is is through meditation. Check out this article on meditation to learn more.

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