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4-Step Process to Resolve Conflict Quickly

Learn to reduce friction, be heard, & find an agreeable outcome in 4 easy steps.

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What Your “Comfort Zone” Really Is

You know that feeling you get when you approach the edge of your comfort zone, the “edgy,” anxious, or simply uncomfortable feeling that feels like you telling you to watch out and save yourself from something? That feeling shows up for me most often in relationships, when I push the edge of honesty and authenticity and take a stand for my needs and boundaries. I also experience it in business quite a bit, when I’m approached with an out-of-the-box opportunity that feels beyond my expertise or experience. The thought of “going for it” can range from tingly to paralyzing.  Just last week I was interviewed on a local radio talk show for The Real Estate Insiders Group because they wanted the perspective of a life coach among the real estate experts and host. When they first reached out I inevitably bumped up against my edge, “I’ve

beliefs

What Do You Believe About Your Beliefs?

With the work I do, I explore a lot of different perspectives and principles that can actualize a joyful and powerful life. Thanks to a gift from a recent client of mine, I’ve come across a cornerstone idea that solidifies the foundation for all of it. It could be the one distinction that makes all the difference for you and your life. Let’s talk about belief for a second. We don’t always realize it but everything we live is based off beliefs we hold. Without sounding overly philosophical, the only thing I could ever assert as truth is that “I exist.” I can’t even say for certain that YOU exist, as you are my experience as a perception. Because I perceive you and I believe you to be there, my experience is consistent with my beliefs, and so I inadvertently hold it as truth. It may

winning strategy

What’s Really Holding You Back (You’ll Be Surprised)

What is it that you DO to get ahead in life? Do you… take control and make sure everything goes exactly how you know it needs to? play the hard ass to get people in line? know how to make everyone like you? swoop in at the very last minute and fix everything? question everything and leave no stone unturned? act agreeable and be the ultimate team player? pride yourself in being organized and disciplined to get things done? look for opportunities to debate, and win every time? Think about it for a second and consider this: that part you admire in yourself that keeps you “winning” is exactly what’s defining the impossible for you.  It’s exactly this thing that keeps you from taking it to the next level. For the sake of this conversation, let’s call this thing your

The Mistake You’re Making With Goals

Goals, dreams, vision… the focus of an intended future. For most immediate things, we’ve little problem accomplishing goals – painting the kids’ rooms, updating a personal website, completing a course, taking that much needed week long retreat. But for the bigger long-term dreams… <cue crickets> Something I witness often is visioning paralysis – folks who lack a vivid set of goals for their near and distant future.  I don’t believe it’s for lack of creativity, desire, or ambition, however. I strongly believe it’s for these reasons: We’re terrified we won’t reach it so why even bother. _________ Failing would only confirm my worst beliefs about myself and the world. That’s too painful to bare. _______ We think it’s too limiting.. ____ If I set too specific a goal, what happens when I get there and decide it’s not at all what

right path

How To Ensure You’re On The Right Path

A common topic among many of my clients is decision making. For significant issues, decision making can be crippling. Many hold that if we don’t make the RIGHT decision we begin a domino effect of less than ideal circumstances and consequently live a failed life. With the stress of having to make right decisions we tend to immediately paint the “what if” picture in the worst way. The reason we get so caught up in decision making is because we firmly believe that there is an absolute RIGHT decision and an absolute WRONG decision. We live as if there is an imaginary playbook out there that we’re supposed to line up with, and by doing so we’ll live the good life. But the fact is, there’s not an official playbook so we can ease up on trying to figure out what all those right decisions are. In

A Distinguishing Trait Of Those Who Live Powerfully and Deliberately

You live powerfully when you know that happiness is a function of accepting what is. The art of accepting things as they are and as they are not – this is at the heart of living a powerful and deliberate life. So how does this work? What does this look like in practice? Well, you’ll probably agree that it’s pretty easy to look out in the world and identify those who live powerfully from those who do not. Anyone who reacts instead of responds, complains incessantly, and insists that conditions be different in order to be happy are victims of circumstance. We’d probably agree that they’re not living life, but rather, life is living them. So what’s the trick? How does one shift from being lived to living powerfully? We do it by recognizing the difference between observing objective facts and acting

procrastination

The Truth About Procrastination, Part 2

I’m turning last week’s article inside out and offering another perspective on procrastination. Why? Because options are good. And it feels like a good time to resurrect this concept from my archives. Have you ever wondered why sometimes you’re totally fired up and super productive – ideas flow, the right people show up, things happen – and other times you feel like you’re hiking uphill in peanut butter and can’t motivate to do anything? I’ve thought about this often and have come up with a way of dealing with what I call the inspiration vs. procrastination game that completely eliminates the need for brute force. We are going to essentially turn your understanding of procrastination upside down. To play this game you have to believe in synchronicity. Synchronicity is like a higher-ordered experience of coincidence – coincidence with meaning beyond what is directly