Does overcoming personal hardship imply making a significant difference in the world? When I think of people that make a big impact it seems that every one of them has overcome hardship. Ok, maybe not everyone, but most. I stop and ponder the motivation. The empathy and compassion these folks are tapped into isn’t fake, it’s real – they have a deep genuine desire to connect with those that are in need and improve their lives. Why? Because they personally have known the suffering. I don’t know if you know much about Tony Robbins, but in his latest book he talks about his childhood. Pretty rough stuff. And look what he’s doing now. Pretty phenomenal. Then I reflect on my own life. By no means did I suffer greatly, but in my own way I had personal hardship. When I
It’s a bit hard to begin writing this year, so I’ll begin by getting real. Last year I committed myself to blogging regularly, grow a following, and share the essence of common themes I see emerge in conversations. I’ve been convinced that by sharing the “secrets” of my work, I could make a difference. While I’m certain I’ve made at least a small difference from the feedback I receive, something’s been tugging at me telling me there is an opportunity for more. While the tips and tricks I share may be helpful, it’s been feeling too surface level. After some deep personal inquiry at the end of 2014, I think I know what’s next. I’m getting real. Sometimes life is tough. It can be brutally painful and hard. And then it can be blissfully serene. Things either make no sense
(Holiday Eating Tips – originally published on The Womens Project as Food vs. Joy.) Wouldn’t you agree that the holidays bring up just as much stress as they do joy? As Christmas music starts to play, twinkling lights begin to go up, and cloying scents of cinnamon and pine waft through department stores, our nostalgic childhood memories are summoned by familiar feelings of joyous anticipation and comfort. It feels wonderful. Until it doesn’t. Crowds, hyper-materialistic consumerism, and weight gain, oh my! We might be pretty good at controlling our experience around mobs of crazed shoppers, but what about all the amazing food?? I mean, we HAVE to eat to stay alive, right? While we can avoid Black Friday for sanity’s sake, we cannot forgo sustenance. It’s not so easy to eliminate the things we need to survive (read: fudge), especially
Holiday Stress. We’re in the realm of immediate gratification this month. Why? Because we’re in the midst of holiday season. Nothing like overloaded calendars, crazed shoppers, and demanding family members to summon the need for instant relief. So before you reach for the TV remote, a bag of chips, or a glass of wine to check out, I’m going to encourage you to check IN and ask yourself just this one thing: what am I resisting right this moment? Do this every time you catch yourself feeling any emotion that isn’t pleasant. The ONLY reason you feel less than great is because you’ve got resistance going on. You could be resisting a person, a situation, a thwarted expectation, an emotion, or even the weather. But the fact is – you don’t feel good because you’re resisting what is in this
Gratitude isn’t something we do, it’s a quality we embody. There is no way I can approach the holidays and not contemplate gratitude. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and so I reflect on appreciation as a way of being. Not just some activity to be done around the dinner table before we feast, but as a stance I hold that allows gratitude to permeate my existence every day of the year. In the same way we say someone has the quality of “nice” we can also say someone has the quality of “gratitude.” To be more grateful… Yes, you can take note of all the wonderful things in your life instead of focusing on lack, or stop and take a moment to feel grateful for whatever is your focus, but I’m talking about a kind of perspective shift that forces you to be
Give your inner critic a break. Make some of these tips to feel amazing a daily habit and watch how happiness becomes a way of life.
Our internal dialogue is running constantly. Much of it we keep up with, a lot of it we feel we have no control over. The big question: Is your self-talk serving you or sabotaging you? Most of us are sabotaging ourselves a majority of the time. The voices in our head are judging us with a play-by-play on what we did wrong, the people we offended, and/or the opportunities we missed. The negative self-talk (inner critic) is either focused on painfully rehashing the past or fearfully rehearsing the future. (I will guarantee that it’s never in the here-and-now.) So what’s the deal? Why does it feel so normal and common to be so hard on ourselves? Here’s what I think it comes down to: Deep within we hold a secret fear that we’re terrified of being confirmed. We’re unconsciously desperate to