It’s a bit hard to begin writing this year, so I’ll begin by getting real.
Last year I committed myself to blogging regularly, grow a following, and share the essence of common themes I see emerge in conversations. I’ve been convinced that by sharing the “secrets” of my work, I could make a difference.
While I’m certain I’ve made at least a small difference from the feedback I receive, something’s been tugging at me telling me there is an opportunity for more. While the tips and tricks I share may be helpful, it’s been feeling too surface level. After some deep personal inquiry at the end of 2014, I think I know what’s next.
I’m getting real.
Sometimes life is tough. It can be brutally painful and hard. And then it can be blissfully serene. Things either make no sense or they make perfect sense. Sometimes it’s both at the same time. It’s beautiful. It’s maddening.
If you’re reading this, you’re interested in living on purpose – powerfully – with joy, meaning, and presence. You wouldn’t have subscribed or found my site if you didn’t work to be the best you possible and have the best life imaginable.
And you know what, I’m working hard at this too. And let me tell you, it’s work.
Over the year I’ve fallen into a trap that’s a very real obstacle in my profession. In the position of working with others to achieve their best, I have to have a few things figured out. I have to be infallible.
But I’m not. I’m human. Fabulously flawed, passionately curious, and authentically real. I adore my work because it FORCES me to show up. It forces me to ask really hard questions. It forces me to do my own work. It exposes the weakest links within myself and urges me to take them on. I couldn’t have powerful conversations with others if I didn’t know the terrain. But the truth is, I’m on a similar journey as everyone else. My perspective is no different than the next guy.
However, I am deeply committed to living from the being space, rather than the doing space. I am intensely passionate about reflecting, finding patterns, revealing discontinuities, telling narratives, finding meaning, and seeing opportunity. I translate data. I assess big blocks of seemingly incongruent information and from all aspects of my ability, I consider, decipher, package, and present. I do this in service to empowering others to be their best and truest selves.
It’s hard to do it for myself. I don’t know what I don’t know. And there is a LOT I don’t know. I’ve got big challenges, I’ve got big blind spots, and I sometimes find myself swimming in trivial details that just don’t matter.
The stuff you say you struggle with – patience, gratitude, presence, health, stress, forgiveness, combating negativity, parenting, sex, marriage, peace, prosperity, ambitions, conflicting commitments – I struggle with too.
Helping you achieve your goals gives me insight into what’s not working with mine. Struggling through my shit gives me the landscape to ask the questions of you.
Want to know what I really struggle with? I hate that I feel overly ambitious and driven to be a stay-at-home mom. I hate that I feel like my hands are tied. And you know what? I hate that I hate this. I feel like the worst mom in the world. I ask myself constantly: “Why can’t I be grateful and present for this incredible gift that is real right now?” But knowing I lack gratitude and asking the question aren’t enough. I still struggle.
I struggle with needing recognition and admiration. I miss my old me that felt involved and purposeful in the corporate world. I long for feeling like my hard work has paid off. I hate that I miss it.
I struggle in marriage – it’s work. Two people commit to staying together forever and embark on ridiculously transformative journeys – children, moving, career changes, deaths of friends and family members. You hope to god you grow in sync. Two people in the same environments, growing from different stimulus, nourishing different perspectives are expected to grow in resonance. It’s not always the case. And at times it can be difficult.
Life is beautiful AND hard.
Yeah, I have tools and tricks to get me to my happy place and most of the time it provides relief. But the truth is I learn, I grow, I try things out, I evolve, I fall down, I try again.
I don’t have the answers. I’m not an expert. I’m just committed. Committed to being transparent, real, and generous. I’m committed to walking down this path with you in the most open and honest way. Sharing what I see and asking hard questions. I’m committed to being messy, flawed, and human. Because you know what? It’s OK to have messy feelings. It’s OK to struggle. It’s OK to experience all that we do, because it’s what we’re experiencing.
You can still expect a handful of tips and tricks, because you know what – they help! But this year I’m peeling back a layer, opening up more honestly, and getting real about what’s real right now. Most importantly, I’ll be sharing what I’m doing to move through it on purpose. Yes, I’m going to talk about how things could be and what we’ll do to get there, but I’m just as committed to celebrating things as they are.
I’m looking forward to deepening this journey with you. I’m embracing my humanity and offering up my heart and asking you to do the same. Let’s be raw, ragged, and real. Let’s be beautifully messy and human. Let’s be unapologetically committed to life and love, ups and downs, and expansion and contraction. Let’s be Always On Purpose.
So here I go, off to begin the January month balancing family time, family obligations, work commitments, and girlfriend time. I can already feel the guilt and overwhelm welling up. More on that next week. 🙂
Until then, my friends, Happy New Year!
Amy Eliza Wong is a life coach, writer, and speaker in the Sacramento, CA area committed to helping people figure out what makes them tick so they can finally live with joy and real purpose. Learn more about working with her.