F@#$ Your New Year’s Resolutions

"F@#$ Your New Year's Resolutions" by Amy Eliza Wong, Life Coach in the Sacramento, CA area

Happy New Year!! I’m writing this while my husband and I are sitting in the Taipei airport waiting for a connecting flight to Bali to attend a dear friend’s wedding. Almost there after 14 hours with some more to go so if you catch any typos it’s because I’m starting to see double. But jet lag or not, there’s no way I could skip the first post of this fabulous new year.

The obvious subject would be resolutions, but I’m not going there.

I trust you’ve had your fair share of “new year’s resolutions” content flood your feed and conversations and have already publicly or privately affirmed the shifts you’d like to make.

That’s great. That’s all true for me too. But rather than dive into resolution talk – the “stuff” that we’re looking to start, change, create, or quit – I want to hone in on the only thing that makes ANYTHING happen.


Why do we make new year’s resolutions in the first place? 

Do we make them because we’re living in a way that’s not aligned with what we’re hoping to create in our lives? Do “new resolutions” imply something about who we’ve been and what we’ve been inadvertently keeping ourselves from?

These questions always, and only, lead me to the topic of focus.

What we focus on creates the reality within which we live. Think about the fact that any professional stunt or race car driver knows that he has to focus on exactly where he wants to go, not what he wants to keep from hitting, to stay on track and succeed. If he gives his attention to what he wants to avoid he runs right into it.

That’s the power of focus.

What has been your predominant focus? Take a look around you – the people in your world, the conversations you tend to have, the feelings you tend to embody, the opportunities that arise, the average set-point of your life – what does it tell you that you’re focusing on? Is this all something you want to continue? If you’ve made new year’s resolutions, maybe not.

Now here’s the good news: your focus is ENTIRELY up to you.

Yes, there is a world around you to observe. YES, there are compelling people, things, and situations in your face that will fight for your attention. But, in the same way a driver will avert his attention from an obstacle to avoid it, you have that same power in your life. And by contrast, by focusing only on what you want to see, that’s what you create.

We talk about being impeccable with our words to live a life of integrity, truth, and love. What about being impeccable with our focus? What might this lead us to?

In my personal experience, it’s a reality where “resolutions” aren’t made once a year, but focus practiced with discipline, on a moment-to-moment basis, that gives way to a life that feels beautifully on purpose, synchronistic, and delightful.

No doubt piles of crap pop up along the path. But don’t pay them too much attention because otherwise they become big obstacles we run right into. Too much of this for an extended period of time can wear us out, which inevitably prompts us to affirm new resolutions at that “clean slate” time of year.

But I say it’s ok to f@#$ those resolutions. Get right to the heart of living exactly what you desire by making your focus your number one priority, at every moment of every day. Commit to giving your attention to only the thoughts, feelings, things, people, and environments that you genuinely want. Use your focus to create a life you’re in love with.

What say you? You in? Let’s make FOCUS the focus moving forward! Leave any comments, insights, or questions below and let me know how this may or may not make all the difference for you.

Lovingly looking forward to continuing this joyful and purposeful journey with you in 2016. 


Amy Eliza Wong is a life coach, writer, and speaker in the Sacramento, CA area committed to helping people figure out what makes them tick so they can finally live with joy and real purpose. Learn more about working with her.

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